WP, I'm not saying what you've experienced is not real. You do have to test the spirits, though, and where these things are coming from. It seems you've gone in many different directions trying to understand what you've experienced.

God bless you

O my Jesus,
forgive us our sins,
save us from the fire of hell,
lead all souls to heaven,
especially those who are in most need of Thy mercy.
~ Fatima Prayer